Friday, October 14, 2011

"compare yourselves not among yourselves"

money is the only form of action. to count the cost is terminally expensive. but in our inability to propagate sacrifice, we have become a shameful people. we are exorbitant beyond measure and thus we are wicked. our only thought is to spoil our children and our grandchildren and in turn we raise them with an inability to see anything other than themselves. to a new generation, the picture on the left is real. the picture on the right only exists in pictures, and Heaven weeps.

jP oct142011

Monday, September 26, 2011

Joshua Payne | One Pass (The Work Tapes) , Vol. 1 | CD Baby

Joshua Payne | One Pass (The Work Tapes) , Vol. 1 | CD Baby

i made one pass at the newest tunes.. they were coming in waves.. and in the time i spent losing, i sang to and into the void. when the height of your longing redirects your words and your weeping into song, the spirit of those moments are the realest they will ever be so in some sense the switch becomes the brush and the microphone the canvass - its a mad blur of color and accidents, beard scratches, foot stomps, page turns and sweat. it is the immediate past rendering a fervor that would never have existed otherwise and somehow the imperfect somehow becomes the truth.

i was a visual artist before i was musician and i never asked permission to paint. these songs, these vignettes into my life are no different. i hang them on walls and release them to the world just as they are, foibles and all.

franz schubert release some 200 published songs in his 18th year of life. seems to me the 12 song system is broken - releasing 1 record every 2 years, the age of these parameters is over.

from now on, i'm releasing everything i write, and if these work tape versions hold the self same spirit of truth as the one pass volumes, what then would be the point in ever repainting them? are they not already hanging in the halls of collegium?

jP '08

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Truth About Unfermented Soy and Its Harmful Effects

Soy is NO substitute! Read this in its entirety and embrace the whole article. Write down the ailments that sound like something you or your spouse or children might be suffering from. Then lay off the soy for three months. See if it relates then do the math. Do the work. Do good for your body. You only get one turn at life.

jP 2011

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

hammer to the left

when a man sets his heart on faith and the hope he has reserved his entire life is laid on one cross, for one girl, no amount of pushing or shoving dismisses the nails in his hands. no amounts of caprice or disloyalty can reduce the sacrifice of the spear. nothing she does or does not do will ever undress the willing scars or remove the earnest blood from his burial shroud. and as he lays himself down to finally die, he smiles and dreams of her lips, and what heaven will be like when she gets there.

jP august 4 2011

photo jP 2009 roma (click to enlarge)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

there was a very little girl named megan living deep inside of megan, but megan didn't know that she was there. one day megan met a boy who walked like a lion and smiled like a child and dreamed like a river and spoke like a dream. the boy called her by her only name and when they were naked together, he kissed her broken stomach, and the very little girl gave birth to a man.

jP july 2011

finish the game

Saturday, July 30, 2011


the power of a word. onion. ring. my buddy kevin says he's in ohio eating amish onion rings. "so jealous" my insides replied. crave crave crave! then i thought, wait! i'm gonna kick some amish onion ring ass, and i went in immediately and got to work.

i can't even begin to tell you how good these were (click pic to enlarge). likely the best i've ever had. my dog even ate them and he won't eat anything that isn't animal. quick someone tell me they've just taken over the world. i'm dying to match that clause.

Lord, let me crave the now, like i crave the suggestion of miraculous food. and please please bless the lot of it.

jP 30.july.2011

photo jP's kitchen

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


loners are abused. not once but every time.. never let this go, and understand the masses of strange men, and desperate broken women..

jP 20.july.2011

Sunday, July 3, 2011

love or logic

do we want normal or do we want love?
normal doesn't last. its been dead for thousands of years.

standard, usual, ordinary, accustomed, habitual, expected, stock, common, regular, routine, typical, run of the mill, middle of the road, garden variety, dime a dozen..

yet love, truest love, is only ever original.

jP july 3 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

that of a man

charged, man finds no fear of war
cries out venatical tantara
he offers nothing short of brave
defaces Dark's dim-narrow

calls loud upon the spirit beings
of old, those wielding iron
"crush helmets blind narcissus greed
break teething self renown!"

by cheek by jowl with roars of chest
and musk like sex endeavor
what heart can turn this man's full stride
of bow and staff and quiver

what noble creature dare take turns
this boy come man full story
the ready flex of shield on hand
hears gentlest threats of glory

there is but one eternal foe
can lay him trembling thus
erupt his conscious course
reduce him to the sniveling idiot

not death's dragoon nor siren sound
not famine, pestilent
just words, mere words from her he loves
the words, "i love you, but.."

no law was written banishing
these words outside his trust
dismantling his steadfast heart
erupting sacred dust

he weeps and crawls, a newborn babe
forgotten walks divine
his knees escape the forward thrust
come down like fresh cut vines

no venture, feat, triumph holds that
of one man's wanton wife
inherent root above all else
for this he forfeits life

jPayne june 29 2011

Monday, June 13, 2011

yesterday i watched the parent trap with maureen o'hara and brian keith. this scene: i wept. still we go searching the world for what we already have in our hands.. but love comes once.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'm going to tell you something. "Run to the roar." Older lions aren't fast enough to do anything but scare antelope. They scare them away and right into a line of younger, faster lions. Moral: Pain roars. Face it. Turn right to it and face it. Do not run away from it. Running from pain is like running into death. Running from pain equals a lifetime of solitude. And a life alone, is a sure death. When someone says, "You should work on this about yourself, or you might consider.." Face the pain and work it takes to be better. Friends willing to speak to, at, about our foibles and our pain are truly friends. Growth is painful. Heartbreak is painful. I walk thru that dark valley and fear not. I am surrounded on all sides by friends. I do not have to be alone.
jP 2011

Saturday, January 1, 2011

read gently

optimism builds things the opposite could not, will not ever imagine. optimism is love. optimism is truth. optimism is loyalty and the inability to be inconvenienced. optimism has one fatal flaw. it slaps hard in the face of the hurting if not tempered thus: it must only be felt, not heard. it must radiate a modest heat and follow through gently with easy embrace. despite the blows and contest it receives, if given well, optimism is the fountain of youth and the heart of empathy and shared sorrow. in optimism we wake and we try. death and cursing ensue when one empties his glass.


(photo jP 2009 - click to enlarge)