i often set a double standard in the way i forgive myself and judge others and its one of my many faults, but sometimes that foible pays dividends with in a kind of tempered guided clarity. for instance i'm bold. i was born bold. there is nothing keeping me from being it. no gut check, no ought to feeling towards remorse, no deep seated revelation siding with the want to not be. i just move forward. the instant you think you are dead.
i was on the plane yesterday from italy. we were landing, and a man i couldn't see in the next cabin stood up while the planes wheels were touching down. the stewardess said, sit down! sir sit down. please sir sit down and continued like this as the plane sped down the runway to a quickly paced taxi. in that moment i stood, as the stewardess in my cabin was becoming incredibly uneasy. i touched her stomach gently and pushed her delicately aside and walked into the next cabin where the man was beginning to push his way out to the isle. people were in awe, scared, shocked, and deathfully silent. i pointed from behind the man and in my operatic voice with metropolitan triple forte i said, "sit down!" the man turned, and conceded with his hands up like i might shoot. i would have.
please let me say this as gently as i can. "do not disregard the words of small authority, from a female you may or may not respect. someone bigger than you is watching and he just might kick your ass.