i and thou

what am i apart from thee and thou apart from me
doest thou know they say of us incomplete?
two parts that lone lie whole yet apartment share a soul
you and i, death and life, joy and pain, sun, moon, rain the same
hence these bane exist without its other

said magnetic oppositions fair
still the sun and moon shown together rarely
by design must offer distant solace of their being
yet from this vantage yearly kiss
and blackness of its blissful miss
seen closely but millions by, we thank God they don't collide
though they will by God and us by Him as well

so forget my hours fearing this
the ordered steps counting numbered days
introspective, dwindling, pacing incessantly wrong
i found death not mine to have just yet
though life i'd wished away mindless
of what held fast: two spheres apart by force alas
i worry less and ride the moon much older now
too, patiently remembering i and thou

jPayne archives
photo: jP 2010 roma

for Sam

where warmth lies kept inbound
by earnest consolation
the blameless savor doubt
thy wavering mattress patient

thy solstice turning nearer to
the heartbeat's fetal nature
thy waking blanket gathers heat
unknowing guise thine anguish

the sons of welding boys
there wean a younger two
a trifle breaks the hardening light
and melts the incidental eye
of man, his beast, and youth

4.5.10 jPaYne
photo jP 2009 nashville

i know what kind of eggs i like

its painful to know who i am
to realize the pit of my own soul, empty, bottomless
and to want enough of a love to fill and to fill it:
the lonely well full of water cool and untouched
and in the years it sought to now would only drink itself dry

but you
you know what kind of eggs i like


jPayne 4.3.10
photo jP easter 2010

portrait

i have a damage of my own i need to fix in you
done in part by rule and the other of my thumb
a gift you wore like the painted still life canvas
i drew out on you in blue and then in blood

the scar i left is healing the burning oil
it festers cool in places kissed the most
no reasoning for loving is an open knife
given daily by
to wake some holy ghost

no time to sit and forage thru the embers
the faggots burn red-blue like smoldering ore
sing justice on the breaking downs of timber
ringing hot like vintage girls with no remorse

the blowing leaves outside your window clutter
near the ashes of a fathers paramour
they haunt with you the spirit of that wind
and you push and shudder and gently close the door

when rapture meets the cold upon your bed
is my hand alone enough to rue the knot
to warm the substance of some inmost fire
and untie the nuisance hanging in your thoughts?

is it not breath that comes to you in silence rendering
not breath that feels beneath you to your room?
the breath that wakes you softer than the morning hours do
breath that cuts much deeper than the wound?
renewed this breath of absence bleeds removed


jPayne 3.31.10
photo jP summer 09

you're like the sun in spring when its cold between the days - i love in shadows, and ache for you - warmth, reasons to bloom.


jPayne 3.29.10
photo smithsonian wright bros

indomitable

i am

the antecedent on your lips from a hundred miles away
and the prophesy your gentle feet assuage
i have nothing to apprise you bar an anxious lean caress
removing nothing but the antiquated dress
this will fit you nonetheless
and i know it will be kind against your breasts


jPayne march 2010
photo jP spring 2010

delecroix

bare chested liberty will far outweigh your dignity
holed up in a cottage outside the circles,
where the weeping hot mess care nothing for platitudes
and the love that begs to be near seethes unmasked
behind the rippling of pools repeating further
and farther from the stone's reach.

jPayne 3.09.10
photo jP winter 2010 QUEENS